Is your child a bully or being bullied?
Today Sally and I are chatting about the topic of bullying. Why is it so topical? Where does it occur? Why does it occur? What can we do about it? Join us for a very thought-provoking, informative and powerful conversation about this escalating issue in our society today. It can be challenging to identify this at home because the symptoms are often very subtle. Your child may feel shamed into trying to keep this private. Also, they may not wish to lose face if their parent shows up at school to sort out their bully.
Bullying is really common
A survey in England estimates that in 2017, 54% of the populati0n has been bullied and 12% of the population has been a bully. Only 63% of those bullied reported it to anyone. 17% experienced cyberbullying.
In response to a campaign by the anti-bullying charity Diana Award. the Oxford, Cambridge and Collins dictionaries define ’bully’ as: a person who habitually seeks to harm or intimidate those whom they perceive as vulnerable.
Is there a bully at home?
In my experience, most bullies intimidate weaker students because they have learnt this behaviour at home. Yes, bullies have been bullied. This doesn’t excuse their behaviour. But it can help you to better understand why another child might bully your beautiful child.
What if you discover that one of your children has been bullying another child? Perhaps the best place to start looking for the likely cause is in your own family.
Is your child’s school ill-equipped or under-prepared?
In many schools, teachers seem ill-equipped to manage bullying. Amongst my clients, it seems that often the weaker party gets into more trouble than the bully when the issue gets escalated to the principle and parents. Bullying can range from physical aggression in low socioeconomic schools to the more insidious and subtle emotional games in the more expensive fee-paying schools.
We also talk about this topic with our Canadian panel
My top three tips to minimise bullying:
- Make a safe space to listen to your child, watch out for bad behavior which may be a cry for help
- Explain to your kids that bullying is not acceptable and that it is not their fault if they are bullied
- Encourage activities for your child which will build their confidence and self-esteem such
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To find out more about what Sally Estlin does, head here